Guys that aren't considered "hot" by social standards often struggle with approaching ladies. This is because the anxiety the feel whenever they make any attempt at trying to talk to them. Also, if a guy doesn't think that he is "good enough" for a woman and does not feel confident, it shows, so basically, if he thinks that chicks are going to ignore him, it will be obvious how he feels and well, chicks will ignore him. Simple, really.
So the first thing you must do when deciding to speak to women is to find a mindset that will allow you to overcome anxiety. When wanting to speak to women you shouldn't be focused on how fast she will brush you off, you should just be curious to know what that particular interaction has to teach you.
Why do you automatically presume that she is better than you, or even a nice person at all? Go over there and just be curious to find out more about the person you have in front of you. Don't base your self-esteem on the reaction women have to you in clubs, they don't know you at all! When an interaction happens, it could be that you will not get the response you were hoping for, but maybe you have learned something new about yourself, about women or about male-female interaction on the whole.
The truth is that if you totally shift your focus about what you are after, your anxiety will be greatly lessened and chances are you really will make a good impression. Women sense anxiety a mile off but if you come across as being simply relaxed and curious, they will be a lot more open to speaking to you.
Once again, and this is actually important, do not attempt to engage in conversation with a woman by doing the boring chit chat thing. Steer clear of topics like weather, sport, the news, religion and definitely sex and exes. Not only will this be the equivalent of a dash of ice water down her back, but also a complete shutdown emotionally on her part, with zero success at resuscitation on your part. If possible, quietly, and unobtrusively, listen to her talking to her fiends if she has any around at the function, party, whatever. Listen and learn about what women talk about and really get passionate about (emotion again) when talking amongst themselves, will give you an edge and the perfect way to actually get in there and talk to her without feeling like a complete moron. This will more than likely open the door for you to ask for her number, and get it!
Once you have her number, you more than likely are assured of at least one date, maybe two. Score one for the average looking dude! Seriously though, that's a step in the right direction and directly into a few more dates with a few more ladies. It's awesome practice, so keep at it. Now then once you have her number, what the hell are you supposed to do now? Call? If so, when? Text her? All or none of the above? Good question. There is no right or wrong answer, because every woman is different. Start with a call a couple days later and set up a date. Once you have accomplished that, start texting her. Be nice and keep it clean or you will blow it. You need to get to know her a lot better before you start sending her what you think are sexy texts. You really should know what makes her hot before going down that road!
One of the least attractive traits in a man is neediness. A woman doesn't want to be your mother, so don't become clingy or needy. Major no-no! Women want men who are not afraid of being vulnerable, but keep themselves in check. They want a strong man that can be depended on, not a sappy guy eager to share his inner child at every opportunity. There is a far worse fate than being thrown out, and it's being doomed to the friend zone just because she can share her fears and insecurities about men with you, her wonderfully sappy best friend. Ouch!
Try not to text more than once a day and don't be overly diligent in answering her. Women will try to see if they can control you and if they discover they can you will lose ground. Rather have her upset at you because you haven't answered her latest text message than give her the feeling that she can control your life. If you send her a message and she doesn't answer, do not send her another message later in the day. There is nothing worse than sending her silly and boring messages by the dozen!
Last but not least, do not send "funny" messages that aren't really funny. Something that tries to be funny but isn't ends up being pathetic, a judgment you do not want to be in any way involved with!
So be kind and have a sense of self-worth, follow our interaction and texting guidelines and you will soon have your phone ringing and women asking you out!
So the first thing you must do when deciding to speak to women is to find a mindset that will allow you to overcome anxiety. When wanting to speak to women you shouldn't be focused on how fast she will brush you off, you should just be curious to know what that particular interaction has to teach you.
Why do you automatically presume that she is better than you, or even a nice person at all? Go over there and just be curious to find out more about the person you have in front of you. Don't base your self-esteem on the reaction women have to you in clubs, they don't know you at all! When an interaction happens, it could be that you will not get the response you were hoping for, but maybe you have learned something new about yourself, about women or about male-female interaction on the whole.
The truth is that if you totally shift your focus about what you are after, your anxiety will be greatly lessened and chances are you really will make a good impression. Women sense anxiety a mile off but if you come across as being simply relaxed and curious, they will be a lot more open to speaking to you.
Once again, and this is actually important, do not attempt to engage in conversation with a woman by doing the boring chit chat thing. Steer clear of topics like weather, sport, the news, religion and definitely sex and exes. Not only will this be the equivalent of a dash of ice water down her back, but also a complete shutdown emotionally on her part, with zero success at resuscitation on your part. If possible, quietly, and unobtrusively, listen to her talking to her fiends if she has any around at the function, party, whatever. Listen and learn about what women talk about and really get passionate about (emotion again) when talking amongst themselves, will give you an edge and the perfect way to actually get in there and talk to her without feeling like a complete moron. This will more than likely open the door for you to ask for her number, and get it!
Once you have her number, you more than likely are assured of at least one date, maybe two. Score one for the average looking dude! Seriously though, that's a step in the right direction and directly into a few more dates with a few more ladies. It's awesome practice, so keep at it. Now then once you have her number, what the hell are you supposed to do now? Call? If so, when? Text her? All or none of the above? Good question. There is no right or wrong answer, because every woman is different. Start with a call a couple days later and set up a date. Once you have accomplished that, start texting her. Be nice and keep it clean or you will blow it. You need to get to know her a lot better before you start sending her what you think are sexy texts. You really should know what makes her hot before going down that road!
One of the least attractive traits in a man is neediness. A woman doesn't want to be your mother, so don't become clingy or needy. Major no-no! Women want men who are not afraid of being vulnerable, but keep themselves in check. They want a strong man that can be depended on, not a sappy guy eager to share his inner child at every opportunity. There is a far worse fate than being thrown out, and it's being doomed to the friend zone just because she can share her fears and insecurities about men with you, her wonderfully sappy best friend. Ouch!
Try not to text more than once a day and don't be overly diligent in answering her. Women will try to see if they can control you and if they discover they can you will lose ground. Rather have her upset at you because you haven't answered her latest text message than give her the feeling that she can control your life. If you send her a message and she doesn't answer, do not send her another message later in the day. There is nothing worse than sending her silly and boring messages by the dozen!
Last but not least, do not send "funny" messages that aren't really funny. Something that tries to be funny but isn't ends up being pathetic, a judgment you do not want to be in any way involved with!
So be kind and have a sense of self-worth, follow our interaction and texting guidelines and you will soon have your phone ringing and women asking you out!
About the Author:
We're a fully third party and independent assessment webpage which has actually researched the pluses and minuses of sending texts intended for dating. For our assessment on the Magnetic Messaging book come to our webpage; Magnetic Messaging Reviewer
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