We each have these vital moments that we reach in our lives. Fortunately, for some, it happens sometime sooner than later. For others...it takes years upon many years to reach that place. But we all reach that place. We all come to the point where we know, deep inside the deepest part of our hearts, that things must change. This wish for change is like nothing you've ever experienced before. There's a different type of energy to it. There's a different feeling to it altogether.
You have to do the most scary thing there is - face your greatest nightmare...yourself.
My moment came in late 2011 which wasn't by choice. I remember standing in that flat, hearing words that I wouldn't forget, and literally watching myself from above crumble. I manipulated everything about myself in that minute. I compromised. I did anything and everything I could. In the final analysis, I'll always remember that sense of turning to ashes. It really wasn't just the moment that did it, no, that was just the match. It was really the whole stacking up of dry leaves and hay from years of neglect...and that tiny match was everything in took to spark something that would redefine me from that moment on.
That was only the beginning of everything, seven days later, it reached its low point. Positively rock-bottom. I made a request to the heavens in that wretched black dark room, it fortunately wasn't granted, and I woke up late the day after gazing at a crumbled landscape...with the understanding that I could rebuild my complete world the way I wanted it.
But I would have to face myself.
More importantly, I would really need burn everything down that I ever supported myself with. I would need to find out how to support myself for once, to not blame everything on everybody else, to be fully responsible for my entire life, and to ultimately let everything that was locked up and caged in me out. It had to all come out.
You see, when you build walls to keep things out, you also build walls to keep the superb things in you from ever reaching anyone. Love was walled in...hurt was walled out. Agony was kept away from me...joy stayed covered under the dust. I ran from fear...so my certainty and grounding ran from my life like the plague. I had to tear everything down. I had to tear my ego down. I had to tear down my projections. I had to rip apart everything and start over fresh.
I did exactly that. I started writing. I started being fair about what was going on with me. I built everything back, brick by brick on a different foundation. My backbone and my heart would be the dense iron place from which I could create.
What I realized on the way was this - those places you are scared to go, here's where your nightmare lives. It crawls around in that space. It's this thick dark oozing kind of agony which will frighten you to death. It frightens you as you think that if you go there you will get caught in it and drown. The reality is, that's where your strength is. There's unimaginable amounts of strength in going there. Just as there's strength in great faith and light, there's equal amounts of strength in going to that place that ravishes your heart with fear...and yet when you go through those places you develop this kind of belief in yourself that is beyond confidence. It's the kind of feeling that you know that everything around you could be demolished, and you absolutely could build it all back no matter the situation.
Power.
True power.
"Take from me everything world, and I will come back and build it back better...and regardless of how you challenge me...I may continue to shine. "
Face your worst nightmare. Face your fears. Don't be afraid to let everything go for the chance to build it back better. Want love in your life? You really are going to have to let go of everything on the opposite end that is obstructing you. You're going to have to dive deep ...down into the pit of your soul, lantern in hand, without the conquering sword. No shields. No weapon. No effort to rise up above it.
You must go in defenseless and vulnerable.
You'll come out. You can cry, suffer, and hurt...but you'll come out. I would never tell you to go anywhere that you couldn't actually come out of. I guarantee you, this is the one place you should go for everything to release. To build something new, to start living the grandest adventure you could ever live...you have to go here. The shadows. The depths. The darkness.
I promise you...this place, is where life starts.
You have to do the most scary thing there is - face your greatest nightmare...yourself.
My moment came in late 2011 which wasn't by choice. I remember standing in that flat, hearing words that I wouldn't forget, and literally watching myself from above crumble. I manipulated everything about myself in that minute. I compromised. I did anything and everything I could. In the final analysis, I'll always remember that sense of turning to ashes. It really wasn't just the moment that did it, no, that was just the match. It was really the whole stacking up of dry leaves and hay from years of neglect...and that tiny match was everything in took to spark something that would redefine me from that moment on.
That was only the beginning of everything, seven days later, it reached its low point. Positively rock-bottom. I made a request to the heavens in that wretched black dark room, it fortunately wasn't granted, and I woke up late the day after gazing at a crumbled landscape...with the understanding that I could rebuild my complete world the way I wanted it.
But I would have to face myself.
More importantly, I would really need burn everything down that I ever supported myself with. I would need to find out how to support myself for once, to not blame everything on everybody else, to be fully responsible for my entire life, and to ultimately let everything that was locked up and caged in me out. It had to all come out.
You see, when you build walls to keep things out, you also build walls to keep the superb things in you from ever reaching anyone. Love was walled in...hurt was walled out. Agony was kept away from me...joy stayed covered under the dust. I ran from fear...so my certainty and grounding ran from my life like the plague. I had to tear everything down. I had to tear my ego down. I had to tear down my projections. I had to rip apart everything and start over fresh.
I did exactly that. I started writing. I started being fair about what was going on with me. I built everything back, brick by brick on a different foundation. My backbone and my heart would be the dense iron place from which I could create.
What I realized on the way was this - those places you are scared to go, here's where your nightmare lives. It crawls around in that space. It's this thick dark oozing kind of agony which will frighten you to death. It frightens you as you think that if you go there you will get caught in it and drown. The reality is, that's where your strength is. There's unimaginable amounts of strength in going there. Just as there's strength in great faith and light, there's equal amounts of strength in going to that place that ravishes your heart with fear...and yet when you go through those places you develop this kind of belief in yourself that is beyond confidence. It's the kind of feeling that you know that everything around you could be demolished, and you absolutely could build it all back no matter the situation.
Power.
True power.
"Take from me everything world, and I will come back and build it back better...and regardless of how you challenge me...I may continue to shine. "
Face your worst nightmare. Face your fears. Don't be afraid to let everything go for the chance to build it back better. Want love in your life? You really are going to have to let go of everything on the opposite end that is obstructing you. You're going to have to dive deep ...down into the pit of your soul, lantern in hand, without the conquering sword. No shields. No weapon. No effort to rise up above it.
You must go in defenseless and vulnerable.
You'll come out. You can cry, suffer, and hurt...but you'll come out. I would never tell you to go anywhere that you couldn't actually come out of. I guarantee you, this is the one place you should go for everything to release. To build something new, to start living the grandest adventure you could ever live...you have to go here. The shadows. The depths. The darkness.
I promise you...this place, is where life starts.
About the Author:
Evan Sanders is the author of The Words Of Encouragement, a website dedicated to bringing the best quotes, motivational content on the web, and blogs all to one place. Need some more motivation and encouragement to keep moving forward? Dig into these life is too short quotes for a little bit of perspective on why you should drag yourself out of the darkness.
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