Saturday 22 February 2014

How To Handle An Abusive Relationship

By Norbert Higensen


You may know someone in an abusive relationship or you may be in one yourself. Many times these relationships are with those who have become very close to you in some way or another. When you find yourself in a relationship that is abusive or when you find someone else that needs help, here are some tips to keep them safe.

It is okay to allow yourself time to grieve over the failure of your marriage and truly accept what just happened. Living in denial and not allowing yourself time to cope will just harbor, delay, and intensify future emotional letdown. Don't try to convince yourself that you're fine. Let yourself feel your emotions and know that it is okay to cry or feel anger and regret. The best approach is to acknowledge that you attempted marriage and it wasn't meant to be, and this is an opportunity to move forward.

There are many ways to channel these sad feelings and negative thoughts. Spending time doing activities, sports, hobbies, and other things you enjoy, allows you to work through your emotions by giving your emotions a positive outlet. This may be a good time to find new hobbies, sports, or activities to pursue. Stay away from things that tend to bring you down and enumerate negative feelings and thoughts.

To help cope with the array of emotions you experience after divorce, consider seeking a professional counselor or support group. Seeking professional counseling and support groups, including family and friends, provide a sounding board or shoulder to cry on, which also allows you to sort through your emotions. For most people, this provides validation, which is therapeutic in its own way.

You need to trust yourself and be patient. Trust yourself that you can handle anything that comes your way. You cannot let fear of what might happen rule you and every decision that you make. Be patient and know that the pain does not go away quickly. Allow yourself time, however long it may be, to cope and never compare yourself to others.

Every individual's needs are different and you need to take care of yourself and consider all of your options to help you personally in dealing with the emotions of divorce. For some, attending a support group is the best thing, for others it may be professional counseling, and yet for others who have tried everything and nothing seems to help, because of a challenging former spouse, it may be time to consider another option. Often times the solution may only be found through an excellent divorce lawyer.

When you finally make the decision you will be glad you did. It is a surprisingly free and empowering world for those who leave such relationships. Make sure that you are ready for what comes with all of your relationships.




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