Wednesday 23 November 2016

Options Used In Overcoming Hurt And Pain

By Shirley Martin


Emotional pain is something that many of us, if not all have had to endure at one point or the other. The source of the hurt is often an intimate partner, a close relative or friend. The unfortunate thing is that when not dealt with, this feeling has the potential to destroy all the aspects of our lives. There are a number of things that we can to help us with overcoming hurt and pain.

Appreciate that the process of dealing with this problem require lots of patience and hard work. The good news is that it can be done regardless of how bad your emotional wounds feel. One of the first things that you need to do as you embark on the healing process is to settle down so as to avoid impulsive behavior that is often destructive. Walk away from the situation and give yourself time before making any response.

Take time to reflect on the situation. Let the events play out in your mind taking note of what role you and the other party played in creating the conflict. Ask yourself whether you responded appropriately in the situation and whether there is any different way you would have acted. In some cases, the feelings may become even deeper at this point in time. The important thing is to remain calm and to exercise restraint.

Once you have reflected and have found some answers to your questions, plan to meet the person that you believe is responsible for your hurt. It may not always be possible to do this since in some situations there is an obvious intention to cause emotional pain. All the same, you should be ready to listen to them and to understand what it is exactly that they meant.

To avoid aggravating an already strained relationship, think carefully before you speak. Avoid getting too argumentative or aggressive. Even if you realize that the other person is the wrong, there is no point forcing them to apologize. This rarely works and even if they were to apologize it is not likely to be genuine. If they volunteer to apologize then be willing to forgive and to forget. Understand that people make mistakes from time to time.

In some situations, getting the opportunity to sort out the differences may be too difficult due to the hostility of the person involved or if getting to them is not practically possible. If you find yourself with such a challenge, there are still several other things that can be done. One of them is to shift focus and to think about the positives in our lives rather than the negatives.

It is important that you learn to take responsibility of hurtful situations. Placing the responsibility on another person gives them the power to determine the pattern of your feelings. It makes it more difficult to let go. On the other hand, when one is fully in control of the situation they can determine what they feel in the present and in future.

Surround yourself with people who have a positive mindset. Sharing your experience with a close friend will go a long way in helping you overcome the heartache. The friend will help you analyze the situation from different perspectives and may even suggest to you solutions that you can use.




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