Have you ever had a conversation with someone that was, well, hard to get into? If you have, then you probably felt like getting away from that situation as soon as you could. What you have to realize is that women feel the same way most of the time when guys try to talk to them.
It's usually this: "How do I do this stuff when I'm in-person with a woman? Face to face? I need to know how to talk to women." This is what I call the "Real-Time" problem. You can learn a ton of great information off-line, but when you're in Real-Time, it's tough to be "on" and creative, isn't it? I don't know if you've ever had this problem, but when I was first learning these skills, I'd do a massive amount of preparation, memorizing a bunch of phrases and stuff. This was what I needed to get up the nerve for how to talk to women.
I'd finally get past my approach anxiety and start talking with a woman. - "Hey, my name is Carlos..." And after I got the conversation started - WHAM. I'd get nervous when I couldn't remember any of the stuff I'd memorized. - Do I say that thing about "who lies more"? Or do I tease her? What was that great teasing line I thought of the other day...? I mean, I thought I knew it cold when I left the house, but between then and now I totally lost it. And I'd stand there like a deer in the headlights, no idea what to say to her.How to talk to women You thought you were all prepared after reading all my cool advice and tips, but now you're sitting in that uncomfortable silence while she stares at you, waiting for SOMETHING to come out of your mouth.
Showing her that you have some shared interests is one of the BEST ways to get her feeling like she wants to exchange phone numbers or spend time with you later. If she feels that you and her have some things in common, that becomes something that you can talk about that leads to her wanting to spend time with you. So, find some of those common interests as quickly as you can.Angelica was a gorgeous 24 year old graduate student who had asked me this question: "Why don't men know how to talk to women?"
"It's not so much what he talks about," Angelica continued. She was hot and she knew it, but she was really down to earth, not as rare a find in Los Angeles if you know where and how to look, but I digress. "It's important to me that he's comfortable in his own skin and that he has his own mind. I don't want a guy agreeing with me just for the sake of agreeing with me.
If he knows how to be natural, unpretentious, and not trying to get down my pants, then I'll probably hear him out." "C'mon," I said, "Most men who talk to you just want to get into your pants. But then there are guys like me who realize that a pretty face is really common around here. I like to see what women are made of."
A woman reads that, and gets a feeling, a feeling like she doesn't really want to spend too much time with you. On the other hand, if you show a woman that you are relaxed and calm with your body language, that can make her feel the same way and she is a lot more likely to want to stick around.
Then you want to spend some time saying the words out loud. This will help you rehearse and say things smoothly, and it also engages your "auditory" modality. And you also want to spend some time reviewing things on paper. Read and re-read the phrases and information you want to commit to memory. This will engage your "visual" modality.But even this is not enough for most of us. You need ONE extra simple step to make this work, and it's something that not many guys know about. I've got a special method that increases your results about 1000%.How to talk to women - STEP 3: ENGAGE "SITUATIONAL REHEARSAL" TECHNIQUE Back when I was in high school, I used to have a good method of learning material I needed for tests. You probably did, too.
How to speak with women I would cram all my notes on a piece of paper with facts, writing stuff everywhere, and in every direction. On the margins, sideways, whatever. Then, when it came time to study for a test on dates and names and memorized facts, I would just sit down with the page and cover up sections with my hand and try to recall the information.Well, we all did this in some way or another with our notes. What you don't realize is that you weren't learning the information as much as you were learning WHERE that information was on the paper. You got locked into recalling the information based on WHERE it was, not WHAT it was. So when you get a fact or information that you can't see on a piece of paper, you would forget it fast. (Which it's so easy to forget names. We're not paying attention to it enough the first time, and there's nothing to anchor it in our heads.)
If you walked up to a little kid and started talking to them would you be thinking any of these things? What about walking up to a friend? What about walking up to a 70 year old women? In your mind you view these things a harmless. You view them as having equal or less social value than you do, so it's far easier to approach them and start a conversation. Yet, if you see a very good-looking woman, your tongue gets tied up and your mind begins playing tricks on you.
It really is all in your head. Talking to women is as easy as talking to a kid, your friend, or that nice senior citizen. Once I stopped buying into some of societies ridiculous beliefs, such as a really attractive person is better than someone who is not (who judges this anyway?) or that a stranger can actually reject you, then I started having less fear and taking more action.
A simple "hi" or "what's up?" can do wonders. Conversation is a learned skill. Just like walking, writing, or riding a bike. This is why any man can learn how to talk to women, anywhere, anytime, and virtually any place. I picked up my last girlfriend at a gas station. The one before her I met on an online dating website. And the one before her I met on the side walk while walking my older sister's dog. All it took was breaking the ice, acting natural, and not trying too hard:
[How To Talk To Women]
It's usually this: "How do I do this stuff when I'm in-person with a woman? Face to face? I need to know how to talk to women." This is what I call the "Real-Time" problem. You can learn a ton of great information off-line, but when you're in Real-Time, it's tough to be "on" and creative, isn't it? I don't know if you've ever had this problem, but when I was first learning these skills, I'd do a massive amount of preparation, memorizing a bunch of phrases and stuff. This was what I needed to get up the nerve for how to talk to women.
I'd finally get past my approach anxiety and start talking with a woman. - "Hey, my name is Carlos..." And after I got the conversation started - WHAM. I'd get nervous when I couldn't remember any of the stuff I'd memorized. - Do I say that thing about "who lies more"? Or do I tease her? What was that great teasing line I thought of the other day...? I mean, I thought I knew it cold when I left the house, but between then and now I totally lost it. And I'd stand there like a deer in the headlights, no idea what to say to her.How to talk to women You thought you were all prepared after reading all my cool advice and tips, but now you're sitting in that uncomfortable silence while she stares at you, waiting for SOMETHING to come out of your mouth.
Showing her that you have some shared interests is one of the BEST ways to get her feeling like she wants to exchange phone numbers or spend time with you later. If she feels that you and her have some things in common, that becomes something that you can talk about that leads to her wanting to spend time with you. So, find some of those common interests as quickly as you can.Angelica was a gorgeous 24 year old graduate student who had asked me this question: "Why don't men know how to talk to women?"
"It's not so much what he talks about," Angelica continued. She was hot and she knew it, but she was really down to earth, not as rare a find in Los Angeles if you know where and how to look, but I digress. "It's important to me that he's comfortable in his own skin and that he has his own mind. I don't want a guy agreeing with me just for the sake of agreeing with me.
If he knows how to be natural, unpretentious, and not trying to get down my pants, then I'll probably hear him out." "C'mon," I said, "Most men who talk to you just want to get into your pants. But then there are guys like me who realize that a pretty face is really common around here. I like to see what women are made of."
A woman reads that, and gets a feeling, a feeling like she doesn't really want to spend too much time with you. On the other hand, if you show a woman that you are relaxed and calm with your body language, that can make her feel the same way and she is a lot more likely to want to stick around.
Then you want to spend some time saying the words out loud. This will help you rehearse and say things smoothly, and it also engages your "auditory" modality. And you also want to spend some time reviewing things on paper. Read and re-read the phrases and information you want to commit to memory. This will engage your "visual" modality.But even this is not enough for most of us. You need ONE extra simple step to make this work, and it's something that not many guys know about. I've got a special method that increases your results about 1000%.How to talk to women - STEP 3: ENGAGE "SITUATIONAL REHEARSAL" TECHNIQUE Back when I was in high school, I used to have a good method of learning material I needed for tests. You probably did, too.
How to speak with women I would cram all my notes on a piece of paper with facts, writing stuff everywhere, and in every direction. On the margins, sideways, whatever. Then, when it came time to study for a test on dates and names and memorized facts, I would just sit down with the page and cover up sections with my hand and try to recall the information.Well, we all did this in some way or another with our notes. What you don't realize is that you weren't learning the information as much as you were learning WHERE that information was on the paper. You got locked into recalling the information based on WHERE it was, not WHAT it was. So when you get a fact or information that you can't see on a piece of paper, you would forget it fast. (Which it's so easy to forget names. We're not paying attention to it enough the first time, and there's nothing to anchor it in our heads.)
If you walked up to a little kid and started talking to them would you be thinking any of these things? What about walking up to a friend? What about walking up to a 70 year old women? In your mind you view these things a harmless. You view them as having equal or less social value than you do, so it's far easier to approach them and start a conversation. Yet, if you see a very good-looking woman, your tongue gets tied up and your mind begins playing tricks on you.
It really is all in your head. Talking to women is as easy as talking to a kid, your friend, or that nice senior citizen. Once I stopped buying into some of societies ridiculous beliefs, such as a really attractive person is better than someone who is not (who judges this anyway?) or that a stranger can actually reject you, then I started having less fear and taking more action.
A simple "hi" or "what's up?" can do wonders. Conversation is a learned skill. Just like walking, writing, or riding a bike. This is why any man can learn how to talk to women, anywhere, anytime, and virtually any place. I picked up my last girlfriend at a gas station. The one before her I met on an online dating website. And the one before her I met on the side walk while walking my older sister's dog. All it took was breaking the ice, acting natural, and not trying too hard:
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