Friday 27 December 2013

Dealing With Your Emotions After Your Breakup

By Curtis McLean


So you've met the perfect girl. She's everything that you've ever dreamed of and she's come out of nowhere. She's beautiful and clever and a lot of fun to be around.

You think that you really might have found someone that you want to have a quality relationship with. Now comes the tricky part. How do you ensure that she falls for you as hard as you've fallen for her? How do you keep from making the mistakes that other guys make?

A man who sees a woman as somehow different than the other women around him will cause him to start to become attracted to her. If he is accustomed to women who chase him or flirt with him and he find a woman that doesn't flirt with him then she will feel different. Inversely, if he is used to women that ignore him or think of him as only smart or funny and he finds a woman that sees his other attributes then he will become attracted to her. She will appear different to him.

How do other women treat the man that you're interested in? Do they go to him to have their computer's fixed? Try to see some other redeeming qualities that he posesses. Do other women laugh at his jokes? See beyond his sense of humor and discover what lies underneath that facade of comedy. Be different than the other girls and you will show him that you're different.

Understand that the breakup doesn't rest entirely upon your shoulders. While it might be easy to take the brunt of the blame on yourself since you are responsible for your own actions, both you and your ex are to blame for this breakup. Placing blame isn't really important though. What is important is that you learn from the past and move on towards your future.

Secondly, do your best to trust her and avoid jealousy and insecurity at all costs. Questions about guy friends, ex boyfriends, where she was or how she feels about you will destroy her opinion of you pretty quickly. Even if you know for a fact that she's seeing another guy or if one of your buddies is interested in her also, play it cool and don't even hint that you're jealous or worried about a thing.

If you feel jealousy or insecurity creeping into your mind, remind yourself that you don't own her. Even if you were to be dating her and you both were in love, you don't own her. Even if you have caught her in a lie, be the better man and don't call her out on it. There's nothing worse than thinking that you've caught someone in a lie only to find out that you have your intel wrong. If she's spending time with you then it's for a reason. If she's chatting you up then it's for a reason. Be happy about it and if you have a hard time curbing these emotions then you need to remove yourself from the situation for a few moment while you get your head screwed back on. She will sense jealousy and insecurity also.

Life is too short and when you find someone that you think is awesome and it seems like she's into you also, relish the moment. Live in that moment and try not to be your own worst enemy. Too many times guys put too much pressure on themselves and they wind up shooting themselves in the foot for their trouble. Be happy, be cool and enjoy getting to know her. If you're sincere and a decent guy she'll fall for you every bit as much as you've fallen for her.




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