Sunday, 7 April 2013

How to Gain Self-Confidence in 8 Steps

By Tyrone P. Rollins


Gaining self confidence is a very hard task, but it can be very achievable if you have patience, determination, and to truly believe that you are going to make it. The following are some of the ways through which you can gain self confidence:Learn your insecurities - In order to gain self confidence you have to locate those issues that make you uncomfortable. It can be a result of past experience, friends or general appearance. You can even write them down on a paper and tear it later to make you feel better.
[How To Gain Confidence]


Overcome Fear.One reason you may not belief in yourself is your fear. It could be fear of failure, that if you fail you will lose even more confidence and be an embarrassment. Nothing ventured nothing gain, give yourself the freedom to fail. You do not really fail unless you give up. So long as you continue to do what it takes for you to gain confidence then there is nothing to fear. The beauty is that the more you do the more confident you become. Think about a nine to 12 month old baby who's learning to walk, how the baby eventually has full confidence and enjoys the new found freedom. The more the baby walks the more confident the baby gets.

Identify your successes - Get to know the good things and the talents you have and appreciate them. By this you can find inner peace that will help you gain self-confidence in some areas of your life.Do not care too much about what other people think - Other people tend to care more about themselves than you. You cannot please everybody in the world, so do what you think is right and pleases you. For example, when you are speaking in a public gathering, do not care about how people think about you, just believe in yourself. This will help you appreciate yourself, which builds your self-confidence

What if you are ambushed to make a speech, where will you get your confidence from? Well, you can't be well prepared for this kind. This is when you have to apply the 'mind over matter' mantra. Being nervous is just all in the mind. Convince yourself that you can own that stage no matter what. Rather than being bothered by the question or the subject of your speech, concentrate on what you know about it and how you're going to say it. Once you're in the middle of your speech and you feel like you're going to falter anytime soon, it is good to stop for a while, look at your audience and throw them a smile. Whatever chances the world has, there will always be those who are looking at you and listening to what you are saying. Take your strength from them. Take your confidence from the fact that someone on the audience is waiting for the next thing you're going to say.

Help Someone.Helping someone makes you feel good. It also allows you to see some of the qualities you have that you may have overlooked. Being able to help someone is a subtle and often overlooked way on how to gain confidence. Think about it, being able to help someone says that you do have some good skills other needs.How to gain confidence? You need not do all of it. Feel free to mix and match. Try different things. The important part is act upon your plan.Have you ever felt the whole world was against you? No matter what you try, you just can't succeed, causing you to have a total lack of self-confidence. You may even feel that way now, but what I am about to share with you should pull you out of that place and into a mindset and feeling of total possibility and success to ensure you boost your self-confidence rapidly.While you feel isolated from everyone else when you are going through this phase with no confidence, within the next few minutes you will learn that you are not alone at all. In fact you will discover that you have more support at your disposal than you thought possible guaranteeing you to build confidence.

Work out - If your lack of self confidence is as a result of body shape, you can have exercises that will help you keep fit and be of the size you want. Working out is not just good for gaining self-confidence it is directly related to many other improvements in your life. Working out can be one of the best and easiest solutions to a low self-confidence!Confidence is a powerful asset to have in the workplace. People who are confident in themselves can expect to be given increased responsibility, leadership opportunities and ultimately more success.

But of course, confidence is to be distinguished from arrogance, which does not attract people or success. When you are confident, you believe in your own abilities but you do not need to look down at or mistreat others. In fact, the greater your confidence, the more you will act in a selfless, generous and engaging manner.Here are three top tips to help you develop confidence at work.Focus On Confidence.Confidence is ultimately an emotion. When you feel the emotion of confidence, it allows you to access inner resources that make you more capable and focussed. On the other hand, when you feel a lack of confidence, you will tend to hold back, not take risks and generally under-perform.But while confidence may be an emotion, developing it is more of a skill. And skill requires practice. Any complex skill that you are now able to perform, which includes reading, writing and talking required a lot of practice. Any skills at work that you are able to perform also required practice.

But with the help of others, this can be done quickly and easily.Just like any business person or athlete, whenever they question their ability to produce the necessary results, they turn to their coach to pull them out rather than trying to do it themselves because they know that at the time,They are emotionally charged negatively to the situation, limiting possible outcomes and perceptions.Their coach/supporter is not emotionally connected to the situation, and therefore can think logically.Who is or can be your personal coach to pull you out of situations when you are feeling down with no confidence? Think carefully here, you don't want to choose the wrong coach.Think of all your family members, friends, colleagues, neighbors, members of any clubs you belong to, shop owners etc. you have gotten to know.Now all you have to do is contact them.

So what thoughts do you have on a regular basis? Monitor your "self-talk". That is, listen to things that you say to yourself each day. If it's a lot of "I'm no good at this" and "I can't do this" then of course, you will not feel confident.If you can change your habitual thoughts, you can transform your confidence.Develop your skills.Confidence without competence is not a great look. The more competent you are at work, the more confident you will feel. Most people take a very vague and unhelpful approach to improving their skills. If the company pays for them to go on a course, they will do it. But in the 21st century, you can't afford to leave your improvement in the hands of others. Especially in hard economic times, the opportunities for learning may not be as forthcoming.

Above all - take action and put yourself in charge. The right frame of mind will set you off to promising new grounds. Step by step you can change your attitude and empower yourself to make a difference in your own future, your own life.Margaret Buj is an Interview Coach and a senior recruiter, with experience of recruiting across EMEA for leading organizations in the technology sector, including Microsoft, VMware, Cisco and Business Objects. During a 1-to-1 coaching session with Margaret, you will get the opportunity to practice your interview skills without the pressure and the nerves of a real interview. You will get clear, practical advice and encouragement, and you will become more fluent in your ability to answer any question an interviewer can throw at you. As a result, you will feel less anxious and more confident and you will significantly increase your chances of getting a job offer or a place on a graduate training scheme.




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