"The whole idea of motivation is a trap. Forget motivation. Just do it. Exercise, lose weight, test your blood sugar, or whatever. Do it without motivation. And then, guess what? After you start doing the thing, that's when the motivation comes and makes it easy for you to keep on doing it." John C. Maxwell. Willpower is the ability to do something even when it feels like work. It's vital to build and maintain your willpower if you want to complete challenging projects. It's also vital to understand that you only have a certain amount at any current time. For instance, you might have noticed that on some days, you're sensible about food, going to the gym but going all the same, and sitting down to your work with only a small glance at the television and one quick email check. The next day, however, your willpower appears to not only have deserted you, but taken normal decency with it. On the way home from work, the thought of trying to make it to your house before eating seems impossible, so you stop on the way. The muffin you buy disappears in a puff of icing sugar. You start the usual fight with yourself about the gym but suddenly realise you're just not going to win, and so flop down in front of the TV and the rest of the night is (oh so forgettable) history.
So what happened? Where was all the glorious willpower you had the day before? These are the times when you have stretched, strained, used, drained, soaked up, dried up and generally bailed out your willpower. The saddest thing is that you probably didn't even spend it on anything good. So let us look at where willpower can go, and how we can plug up these holes to maintain a steady stream of it throughout the day.
There are three big willpower destroyers: Hunger - Sleep Deprivation - Stress
Hunger
How many times have you been told to stay away from shopping when you're hungry? It's based on our complete inability to resist every bad food that leaps into the trolley, because hunger kills willpower If you rationalised it you would realise that if you ate that, and that, and the other thing in there right now, all at this moment, you would explode. But all you can here is your stomach, and your brain is curled in a corner, hugging said stomach, "Moaaare! More food!"
That hunger results in decreasing your willpower regarding food makes sense - food cravings after all are directly related to hunger. But hunger takes away your willpower to do other things as well. It affects concentration, mood (hungry angry!) and your general ability to think about anything that isn't food. Mothers know when a baby is hungry, because they start getting fussy and throwing temper tantrums. Just because we've grown up a bit doesn't mean our bodies can handle being hungry.
Now, if you the other two willpower killers are under control, you might be able to battle through hunger. If you're planning on going on any severe diet, do everything you can to keep the other two Willpower Destroyers satiated. However, why make things more difficult for yourself than you have to? If you're trying to complete a challenging project, make sure you eat sensible meals at regular times.
Sleep Deprivation
Sleep has been receiving a lot of attention in magazines and self-help books. By now, surely someone has surely told you that you need more sleep. I agree that it is very individual, and there are some people out there who really do only need four hours, but for most of us, we generally need around eight hours of good quality sleep (sometimes more in winter or at different times in our personal mood cycle).
The quality of sleep is important too. Good quality sleep cannot be overestimated. If you only do one thing to reenergise your creativity, joy and peace with life, look first to your sleeping habits. If you've had broken sleep for many years, you might think it is normal, but it's definitely worth taking the time and effort to improve it. You owe it to yourself, so think of this as part of your job requirement: get better sleep.
But some sad news for those who were already leaning over to tell their partner not to wake them before midday tomorrow: it's the hours before midnight that seem to do the most for people. Some people do appear to work well after midnight, but first let's check: are you waking up after eight hours of sleep feeling refreshed? It might be that you've just messed up your natural circadian rhythms, rather than being a true night owl. However, if you have a system that is working for you, or you have to have odd hours for work, don't let me interfere. I only offer food for thought.
Simple Steps For Better Sleep Hygiene
There is a lot of information out there on how to improve your sleep, most of which focuses on your 'sleep hygiene'. Sleep hygiene relates to good sleep habits, and addresses common sleeping problems that are caused by bad habits, which you may have had for many years. So, it is time to start retraining yourself to get the most out of a night's shut-eye.
Here are five practical tips you can put into practice immediately, and build into good habits (more can be found in my book "The Five Day Writer's Retreat").
1. Upgrade your mattress. Considering we spend a third of our lives in bed, it is amazing how little time people spend on choosing the right mattress for them. If you constantly wake up with slight aches and pains, or feel you need to crick your neck every time you get out of bed, you should think about investing time and a bit of money into finding a better mattress.
2. Cut off the light. When you go out into the country, one of the first things you notice is how extremely dark it is at night. There is a reason you can't see the stars as well in any built up area. This light can affect the quality of your sleep. Make sure you pull the blinds shut and don't have any blinking lights in your room. An easy way to do this, if viable, is to make your bedroom an electronics-free room, except for an alarm clock with a light you can't see. You don't really need to know the time, that's what the alarm is for!
3. Get rid of noise. It can be difficult to do much about this, but try to think of ways to reduce the noise in your room. Some people wear earplugs to help with this, but I understand that they can be uncomfortable, and don't really like them myself. (The only time I've used them religiously was when I was traveling with my parents and we shared a hotel room. My father's snoring is atrocious.) Which leads to the question of what to do with noisy partners. Well, if you have suggested and tried various snore-reducing steps, then you will either need earplugs, separate rooms, or just get used to it. My mother somehow did. So do whatever is within your power to reduce noise, but if it affects your relationships, maybe just learn to live with it. A good partner is difficult to come by, after all.
4. Sleep ritual - physical preparation. I'm a big believer in ritual, that is, instilling everyday actions with significance and using them as a marker of time. It is a great way to train your body to perform on cue. A regular bedtime ritual will help you to drift off peacefully and without much trouble. Things to focus on are the preparation of the body for sleep and then the mind. I was never one for nighttime showers, but they are starting to win me over. Slipping into bed all clean and warm is a fantastic thing. I recently read an article that also highly recommended that you give yourself a quick foot bath before you go to bed, to heat them up and reduce the aches of a long day. I haven't implemented this yet, but it sounds like good advice. Drinking warm milk can be comforting, and will stop you waking up in the night hungry (or does this only happen to me and in movies?). Following the same ritual each night will definitely help you get better sleep. The one drawback is that when you can't follow your ritual, it might be harder to get to sleep.
5. Stimulants. Are you one of those people who believes stimulants don't affect you? Or, on the other hand, do you feel you need a glass of wine or a beer to help you relax at night? I'm not going to dictate to you about these matters - just know that I have my skeptical face on. You might have trained yourself to need these things. However, in a perfectly normal, urban way, I believe that trying to stay as natural as possible in the end allows your body to run along its normal lines. Yes, it might take a few weeks to 'detox', but you are on a retreat, so obviously you want to make some changes. Now is the best time to take action.
Stress
Time to address the third of the Willpower Destroyers: stress. We know that a little bit of stress can be an excellent thing; it gives you a kick of energy before a deadline, it helps improve your fitness when you run, and kicks in your body's natural self-preservation instincts. However, on-going or high levels of stress are bad for many reasons. And the worst thing is that we tend to encourage it in our lives, mistaking it for the benefit of good stress.
Reducing Stress
List what currently stresses you, from the big stressors to the little niggles. If the task seems difficult, put them under these headings: Work, Relationships, Home Environment, Personal, Finance. Try to be as specific as you can, narrowing it down to individuals or particular things. Defining a problem is a large part of overcoming it.
For example, under Work you might list: 'Dealing with client X makes me dread Tuesdays', or 'The way my computer keeps crashing and IT won't fix it.'
Relationships: Something like, 'The expectations of my family' is too general. Instead try: 'How my mother subtly hints on the phone each time we talk about whether I have a new man in my life.'
Home Environment: Even little things can make a difference, such as 'The way the Tupperware always overflows from the drawers'.
Personal: These are attitudes and thoughts that bring you stress, such 'My weight is slowly creeping further up and soon I'm going to be a balloon.'
Finance: Credit card debt can be an ongoing source of low-grade stress, as can a silent fight with a housemate over who should pay the excess on the phone bill, since neither of you made those calls!
List as many stressors as you can, then divide them into three types of stress: things you can do something about Now, things you should be able to change in the Future and things that Can't be changed. Then list them by how much they irritate you.
Deliberately work through the things you can change now and get rid of as many stressors as you can. Every month or so, update the list and keep working on it. Reducing stress in your life is one of the most effective ways you can increase your general happiness and productivity, so don't just let it slide! the rest of the night is (oh so forgettable) history.
So what happened? Where was all the glorious willpower you had the day before? These are the times when you have stretched, strained, used, drained, soaked up, dried up and generally bailed out your willpower. The saddest thing is that you probably didn't even spend it on anything good. So let us look at where willpower can go, and how we can plug up these holes to maintain a steady stream of it throughout the day.
There are three big willpower destroyers: Hunger - Sleep Deprivation - Stress
Hunger
How many times have you been told to stay away from shopping when you're hungry? It's based on our complete inability to resist every bad food that leaps into the trolley, because hunger kills willpower If you rationalised it you would realise that if you ate that, and that, and the other thing in there right now, all at this moment, you would explode. But all you can here is your stomach, and your brain is curled in a corner, hugging said stomach, "Moaaare! More food!"
That hunger results in decreasing your willpower regarding food makes sense - food cravings after all are directly related to hunger. But hunger takes away your willpower to do other things as well. It affects concentration, mood (hungry angry!) and your general ability to think about anything that isn't food. Mothers know when a baby is hungry, because they start getting fussy and throwing temper tantrums. Just because we've grown up a bit doesn't mean our bodies can handle being hungry.
Now, if you the other two willpower killers are under control, you might be able to battle through hunger. If you're planning on going on any severe diet, do everything you can to keep the other two Willpower Destroyers satiated. However, why make things more difficult for yourself than you have to? If you're trying to complete a challenging project, make sure you eat sensible meals at regular times.
Sleep Deprivation
Sleep has been receiving a lot of attention in magazines and self-help books. By now, surely someone has surely told you that you need more sleep. I agree that it is very individual, and there are some people out there who really do only need four hours, but for most of us, we generally need around eight hours of good quality sleep (sometimes more in winter or at different times in our personal mood cycle).
The quality of sleep is important too. Good quality sleep cannot be overestimated. If you only do one thing to reenergise your creativity, joy and peace with life, look first to your sleeping habits. If you've had broken sleep for many years, you might think it is normal, but it's definitely worth taking the time and effort to improve it. You owe it to yourself, so think of this as part of your job requirement: get better sleep.
But some sad news for those who were already leaning over to tell their partner not to wake them before midday tomorrow: it's the hours before midnight that seem to do the most for people. Some people do appear to work well after midnight, but first let's check: are you waking up after eight hours of sleep feeling refreshed? It might be that you've just messed up your natural circadian rhythms, rather than being a true night owl. However, if you have a system that is working for you, or you have to have odd hours for work, don't let me interfere. I only offer food for thought.
Simple Steps For Better Sleep Hygiene
There is a lot of information out there on how to improve your sleep, most of which focuses on your 'sleep hygiene'. Sleep hygiene relates to good sleep habits, and addresses common sleeping problems that are caused by bad habits, which you may have had for many years. So, it is time to start retraining yourself to get the most out of a night's shut-eye.
Here are five practical tips you can put into practice immediately, and build into good habits (more can be found in my book "The Five Day Writer's Retreat").
1. Upgrade your mattress. Considering we spend a third of our lives in bed, it is amazing how little time people spend on choosing the right mattress for them. If you constantly wake up with slight aches and pains, or feel you need to crick your neck every time you get out of bed, you should think about investing time and a bit of money into finding a better mattress.
2. Cut off the light. When you go out into the country, one of the first things you notice is how extremely dark it is at night. There is a reason you can't see the stars as well in any built up area. This light can affect the quality of your sleep. Make sure you pull the blinds shut and don't have any blinking lights in your room. An easy way to do this, if viable, is to make your bedroom an electronics-free room, except for an alarm clock with a light you can't see. You don't really need to know the time, that's what the alarm is for!
3. Get rid of noise. It can be difficult to do much about this, but try to think of ways to reduce the noise in your room. Some people wear earplugs to help with this, but I understand that they can be uncomfortable, and don't really like them myself. (The only time I've used them religiously was when I was traveling with my parents and we shared a hotel room. My father's snoring is atrocious.) Which leads to the question of what to do with noisy partners. Well, if you have suggested and tried various snore-reducing steps, then you will either need earplugs, separate rooms, or just get used to it. My mother somehow did. So do whatever is within your power to reduce noise, but if it affects your relationships, maybe just learn to live with it. A good partner is difficult to come by, after all.
4. Sleep ritual - physical preparation. I'm a big believer in ritual, that is, instilling everyday actions with significance and using them as a marker of time. It is a great way to train your body to perform on cue. A regular bedtime ritual will help you to drift off peacefully and without much trouble. Things to focus on are the preparation of the body for sleep and then the mind. I was never one for nighttime showers, but they are starting to win me over. Slipping into bed all clean and warm is a fantastic thing. I recently read an article that also highly recommended that you give yourself a quick foot bath before you go to bed, to heat them up and reduce the aches of a long day. I haven't implemented this yet, but it sounds like good advice. Drinking warm milk can be comforting, and will stop you waking up in the night hungry (or does this only happen to me and in movies?). Following the same ritual each night will definitely help you get better sleep. The one drawback is that when you can't follow your ritual, it might be harder to get to sleep.
5. Stimulants. Are you one of those people who believes stimulants don't affect you? Or, on the other hand, do you feel you need a glass of wine or a beer to help you relax at night? I'm not going to dictate to you about these matters - just know that I have my skeptical face on. You might have trained yourself to need these things. However, in a perfectly normal, urban way, I believe that trying to stay as natural as possible in the end allows your body to run along its normal lines. Yes, it might take a few weeks to 'detox', but you are on a retreat, so obviously you want to make some changes. Now is the best time to take action.
Stress
Time to address the third of the Willpower Destroyers: stress. We know that a little bit of stress can be an excellent thing; it gives you a kick of energy before a deadline, it helps improve your fitness when you run, and kicks in your body's natural self-preservation instincts. However, on-going or high levels of stress are bad for many reasons. And the worst thing is that we tend to encourage it in our lives, mistaking it for the benefit of good stress.
Reducing Stress
List what currently stresses you, from the big stressors to the little niggles. If the task seems difficult, put them under these headings: Work, Relationships, Home Environment, Personal, Finance. Try to be as specific as you can, narrowing it down to individuals or particular things. Defining a problem is a large part of overcoming it.
For example, under Work you might list: 'Dealing with client X makes me dread Tuesdays', or 'The way my computer keeps crashing and IT won't fix it.'
Relationships: Something like, 'The expectations of my family' is too general. Instead try: 'How my mother subtly hints on the phone each time we talk about whether I have a new man in my life.'
Home Environment: Even little things can make a difference, such as 'The way the Tupperware always overflows from the drawers'.
Personal: These are attitudes and thoughts that bring you stress, such 'My weight is slowly creeping further up and soon I'm going to be a balloon.'
Finance: Credit card debt can be an ongoing source of low-grade stress, as can a silent fight with a housemate over who should pay the excess on the phone bill, since neither of you made those calls!
List as many stressors as you can, then divide them into three types of stress: things you can do something about Now, things you should be able to change in the Future and things that Can't be changed. Then list them by how much they irritate you.
Deliberately work through the things you can change now and get rid of as many stressors as you can. Every month or so, update the list and keep working on it. Reducing stress in your life is one of the most effective ways you can increase your general happiness and productivity, so don't just let it slide! the rest of the night is (oh so forgettable) history.
About the Author:
This is an excerpt from Buffy Greentree's book 'The Five Day Writer's Retreat', available now on Amazon. Five_day_Writer_Retreat
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