Monday 18 March 2013

How To Cope With Disappointment

By Hal Neff


Everyone faces disappointments in life, both big and small. Unfortunately, many of us tend to grumble and whine about our own problems to the tremendous irritation of some people.

It is important to acknowledge our disappointments and not simply dismiss them, but how do we do it appropriately without being a nag to some people? The solution lies in learning helpful ways to acknowledge disappointments.

* Disappointment can build personality and patience if you allow it to. Learning to handle your disappointments constructively will make you a better person in the end.

Dealing with Disappointment

First thing you have to do in learning to cope with disappointment is recognize your own old coping approaches. Everybody has them. Do you reach for the pint of ice cream or withdraw into a room all alone? Do you get drunk and try to forget?

Once you recognize that your old strategy isn't working, it is time for you to build a new one.

Listed below are 5 tips for effectively dealing with your disappointments:

1 . Recognize what you are feeling. You may truthfully express the emotions you're feeling without blaming or punishing some people. It is about how you feel about the situation, not others. Articulate your feelings without attacking others. Always be respectful, but don't be afraid to let them know how you feel.

* There is not a correct or incorrect method to feel. Your feelings are valid and if you do not voice out your opinion then you'll harbor bitterness and stress yourself out. Be honest with yourself about how you truly feel about the circumstance.

2 . Put things in perspective. Even tiny disappointments can be monumental at first. But once you have expressed your pain, frustration, or anger, take a step back and look at the bigger picture. How much of an effect is this disappointment going to have on you tomorrow, next week, or next year?

* Take a deep breath and go for a stroll to put your disappointment into perspective. Taking time to reflect and step away from the situation will help relax your nerves so you'll be better able to manage the disappointment.

3. Do not doubt yourself. Often disappointment can make you feel like a failure. You may wonder why these things happen to you or you may believe you were dumb to get your hopes up in the first place. However none of that is the reality. Do not let yourself to give in to these negative thoughts!

*Disappointment is not exceptional to you. People have been disappointed at some point in their life. Instead of getting down on yourself, think about what may have been done differently and learn from the experience.

4. Search for a remedy or compromise. You cannot have your way all the time but sometimes there may be a second choice that's reasonable to each party.

* Get a few deep breaths, relax, and look for the "silver lining. " It's possible to find something good in almost every circumstance.

5. Reevaluate and create changes if possible. Sometimes when we experience disappointment, it may be a sign that we need to re-examine our priorities. Based on the level of disappointment you're dealing with, you might need to make minor or major changes to your life.

* Learn to be versatile. Refocusing your own attention on your new goals can help you forget about your disappointment.

Don't Give Up

Any person who has had even a small degree of success in life has faced disappointments.

* Winners simply don't quit. They learn from their own failures and disappointments and carry on to reach their goals.

You could become your own biggest driving force! Don't underestimate the power of encouraging yourself by saying, "I can do this. I can make it. I will get through this and be a better individual!"

You do not need to enable disappointment to lower your self-confidence. That is not to say that you need to gloss over your feeling, but you can simply learn how to handle your disappointments successfully, then proceed to bigger and better things.




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