Thursday 21 November 2013

Understanding Assertive Communication

By Zoe Smith


It is impossible to live in this world and not be in contact with another person. As such, it is of vital importance that we develop good communication skills to be able to express ourselves clearly and in doing so, establish better relationships with the people around us. What is assertive communication and how can we use this to our best advantage?

There are several kinds of communication styles we have knowledge of. Passive communicators are individuals who have low self-esteem and will avoid expressing their own views and opinions. Aggressive communicators on the other hand, also have low self-esteem but express it by being abusive and inconsiderate of another person's rights. Some people are classified as passive-aggressive. These people seem passive but are subtly undermining the other person because they are angry, resentful and feel powerless.

It goes without saying that these are not very good communication styles. In fact, if you think this is you, you need to seriously check yourself and purpose to change before you lose people's respect or drive them away. Nobody is perfect and unless you can walk on water and are born of a virgin-expect to make mistakes. Learn from it and move on from here.

If these aren't the ideal forms of communication, then what is the best way? The most ideal communicators are assertive communicators. What are some of their qualities? They are individuals who have a healthy self image and self esteem. Therefore they can advocate their rights while being respectful of others. They are direct and open.

Being an assertive communicator will positively impact your professional life. Decision making techniques necessitate that one be self-possessed, honest and straightforward for maximum efficacy. Passive personalities will not command respect, and aggressive decision makers are likely to be overbearing and offensive to other people. Assertive decision makers solicit confidence and inspire his/her team to work towards the fulfillment of the goal.

Assertive people on the other hand will inspire trust and support that is needed in achieving goals. Good assertive communication will also make for better personal relationships. When people we love have things that need to be corrected- either we shun away from doing it because we don't want to hurt their feelings, or correct them in an inappropriate and upsetting way. We need to learn how to correct them in a loving and respectful manner for their own personal growth.

So how do we become more assertive and confident? What you need to do to achieve this particular quality is to endeavor to know yourself more and with that, love yourself better.

Of course even if we do our best in expressing our best intentions for people-sometimes they will misunderstand. Don't be surprised-miscommunication cannot be avoided. When it does happen, don't let it affect you too much. Live the way you know to do and be happy with yourself no matter what. Enjoy a great life and have no regrets!




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